Time: 6:30-Undisclosed time

Location: Around New York (Sorry to be so vague about this one, assassin, I know I'm not being helpful)

Activities Engaged In: Hunting my target. I know I'm being less than helpful here for you assassin since I'm pretty much giving you an open book about where in New York I'll be... but for the sake of the game I can't divulge where I'll be hunting, cause I gotta take care of me and mine. But look at it this way, if you can get me during this time, you're almost guaranteed to be hanging around your next target.

Why you won't get me, assassin: I'm wearing a nerf-proof vest. Hubris has bested a lot of men... but I'm no pussy Oedipus. I am teflon.

Time: 3:30-6:30 PM

Location: The UCB Training Center

Activities Engaged In: Taking an improv class with a few other assassins. Yes, this area is technically off limits for you to shoot me, but imagine all the ways I will be coming and going from the training center. There will be so many opportunities for you, assassin, to stalk and follow me through the streets of Chelsea before I round the corner into a safe zone. You're practically getting a CHRISTMAS gift here.

Why you won't get me, assassin: Because I'm egging you on for a chase... and I'm not afraid to really die for this.

Time: 12:30 PM

Location: Park Slope Brooklyn

Activities Engaged In: I will be eating lunch with my friend Marc and waxing philosophical about jobs and writing. My hands will probably be full of food, so reaching for my gun in self defense might be completely impossible. Sounds like an ideal time to get me assassin!

Why you won't get me, assassin: You're weak.

Time: 11 AM

Location: At Home (Assassin, you know where that is)

Activities Engaged in: I am about to take a shower, which is on the first floor of the building. After that I will be getting dressed and completing this blog.

Why you won't get me, assassin: I am a waterfall. I am ever flowing and invincible.